God Knows I Tried
by crownedinvictoryx
Summary: Birmingham is ruled by crime after the war. The Peaky Blinders are not to be messed with. Yet, when Thomas Shelby is almost beaten to death and ends up in her hospital ward, Elsie can't help but feel an attraction to Birmingham's most dangerous crime boss.
1. Chapter One

A dull but constant ache controlled his body, making it impossible for him to move - his speech taken from him as a result of the gushing slice on the inside of his cheek and the throbbing of his gum where they'd cut out his gold tooth. Blood-soaked clothes clung to his body with such vigour he was no longer sure if he was still bleeding or if all he could feel now was the drenched fabric clotting the wounds. Sight could only be gained through one eye and it was blurry at best, allowing for only the ability to pinpoint basic shaps and colours. Some of these shapes and colours were much more frequent than others but the most common was the white of the doctors' robes and the various shades of nurses' hair as they rushed around him, trying anything to stop the bleeding and get him cleaned up. The thought almost made him want to laugh: Thomas Shelby would never be clean, no matter how hard they scrubbed him.

Loud, urgent voices clouded his senses whilst cold hands grasped at his body, grabbing and pulling this way and that, moving him from stretcher to bed, to table, to bed, and again, and again - at least that's what it felt like. All Tommy could feel was his body being moved around, his own physical capabilities rebelling against him no matter how hard he willed himself to fight these people clawing at every inch of his injured body. Not that it made any difference. It didn't hurt anymore; he could no longer feel himself, no longer feel his own body, only the forceful hands of others as they tried to help him fight for his life.

"Mr. Shelby?"

Suddenly, those loud and urgent voices were forced into submission, growing so quiet he could barely hear them anymore, although he somehow knew they were still just as loud and urgent as before. Instead, a new voice demanded what little attention he was able to give.

"Mr. Shelby, can you hear me?" the voice asked.

Tommy fought hard to find the source of this voice. Forcing himself to keep his eyes open as best he could, to turn his head in search of her, to let out the quietest but most definitive grunt he possibly could. Anything to let her know he was still hiding somewhere within his broken body.

"That's very good Mr. Shelby." she praised, and he felt inexplicably proud. "I'm going to strip these clothes so we can get a better look at your injuries, Mr. Shelby, if that's alright?"

Although this was phrased as a question, he knew very well that it was not a question at all. Before he could give any kind of indication as to his consent, he felt her hands moving across his chest and down his torso, ripping the fabric of his shirt wide open and he could hear the buttons pop and the soft tinkle of them falling to the floor around him. That sweet voice was still there to be heard but she was no longer talking to him and so he wasn't listening anymore. She'd address him as 'Mr. Shelby' when she wants his attention, he assumed. Instead, he stopped willing himself to fight, choosing to enjoy the feeling of her hands dancing across his skin as she wipes away the blood and tends to his injuries, letting himself drift in and out of consciousness as she does so.

* * *

Silence had long since settled over the hospital as the darkness of night set in. Very few could afford to pay for hospital care and so, very few wards held more than one or two patients at time. This was, of course, good for the hospital as it allowed for only one member of staff to be necessary to keep each ward safe and running throughout the night. Normally, this was not an issue of any kind as, after the war, most patients were veterans who had sustained life long injuries that merely needed repeated treatment and as such, there was no danger in working in the hospital. Yet, in one night, everything had changed. Thomas Shelby, leader of the Peaky Blinders, currently lay in one of those hospital beds with so many broken bones, so many cuts and bruises, that it was hard to believe he was still breathing. Tommy Shelby - one of, if not _the_ , most dangerous man in Birmingham - was currently unconscious in Elsie's ward and she was the only nurse on duty, the only thing standing between the notorious crime boss and a bullet should someone choose to finish what they'd started.

It was a little after 3:00am and so far, he had been unconscious for a total of twenty-eight hours. As the only nurse who would be staying the night in that particular ward, Elsie had been tasked with single-handedly ensuring this man did not die by any manner of means. If she were being honest, she had expected him to have woken up by the time she'd started her shift and so was rather disappointed to find him lying in bed exactly as she'd left him the night before. Naturally, this suggested that it was going to be a very long, boring night of protecting Mr. Shelby. And so, to pass the time, she had decided to read his hospital file. There wasn't much to read: basic statistics such as his height, weight and physical characteristics; brief descriptions of the injuries he'd sustained in the war; and her own report on his injuries sustained the night prior. In fact, his file was rather boring.

A sudden loud gasp and the sound of rustling sheets drew Elsie out of her boredom and immediately had her on alert. With only one patient on the ward, she didn't have to be a genius to recognise that something was wrong with Thomas. Immediately fearing the worst, she dropped the file in her hands and ran for his room, throwing the door open with no real expectations as to what she might find there. Yet, she was still surprised to find the room empty save for the patient himself, thrashing wildly in the sheets. Even in the dark she could see the sweat glistening on his skin as he fought with himself. In the silence she could hear him mumbling, panting heavily and gasping for breath. It almost seemed as though he were having a nightmare. With a soft sigh, she moved towards him carefully, sitting on the edge of the bed. For a moment or two, she simply observed his furrowed brow and parted lips, trying to imagine what he could possibly be seeing and wondering why his own mind would torture him so.

"Mr. Shelby?" she asked, reaching out to place her hand on his left shoulder, shaking softly so as not to hurt him but enough that she hoped it would not go unnoticed, but his thrashing only continued.

"You need to wake up Mr. Shelby." she spoke, shaking a little harder.

"Mr. Shelby, you're dreaming, you need to wake up." she continued when he remained unresponsive.

Taking hold of both of his shoulders and repositioning herself to kneel on the bed beside him, Elsie shook him hard and shouted his name. The reaction she received was not one she was expecting. In a flash, he held her right wrist in his hand with a grip tight enough to break the bone, with his free hand tight around her throat, and all she could do was grasp at his wrist with her own free hand. Thomas sat perfectly straight, his face mere centimetres from her own with his eyes wide and his breath both heavy and uneven. Despite her vision beginning to blur, she could see as clear as day the fear that ruled his features, his eyes frantic and wild. It took her a moment but she eventually realised that he had no idea where he was. With as much strength as she could muster, Elsie managed to force a high pitched squeak from her throat, causing his eyes to snap to hers. For only a few moments more he simply stared at her before releasing her completely, letting her collapse across his legs, coughing and gasping to regain her own breath.

Neither of them moved for at least five minutes, both trying to catch their breath and compose themselves. It was she who moved first, placing her hands flat on the bed on the opposite side of his legs to where her knees rested, pushing herself upwards in an attempt to move into a seated position once more. As she did so, he placed a hand on her ribs, the other taking hold of her upper arm in order to help her. Only when she was fully upright did she allow herself to raise her watery eyes to meet his, finding that he was already staring at her. Still, he said nothing. However, much to her surprise, he reached up behind her and, keeping his eyes locked on hers, tugged rather firmly on the white nurse's hat she had pinned into her hair. It came loose, of course, and he dropped it to the floor. Elsie attempted to look down to where it had landed but he placed a finger under her chin, forcing her to keep her eyes on his. Reaching up behind her again, Thomas began to remove the pins from her hair, letting the long, dark waves fall across her face and shoulders, letting it tumble down her back. Without thinking, she shook her head so that her hair might fall a little more naturally and for a moment, in the dark light of the room, she thought she saw him smile. Gripping her loose hair in one hand, he tugged, forcing her to tilt her head and expose her neck to him, and a shiver raced down her spine as he trailed his fingers across what she imagined was an already forming bruise.

"You'll need to wear a neck scarf for the next few days." he stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

By God, his voice was beautiful. Deep and rough, the kind of voice she could never have imagined sounding so good yet, exactly the kind of voice she'd imagined a man like Thomas Shelby might possess. And without knowing why, she nodded at him, agreeing with him.

"I will, Mr. Shelby."

This time, he definitely smiled, although it lasted only a few seconds. And then he released her. Immediately, Elsie got to her feet and stepped away from the bed, bending down to collect the hat he'd removed and clasping it close to her chest. When she turned her eyes back to him, he was lying down again.

"Can I have some water, please?" he asked, but she knew he wasn't really asking.

"Y-yes, Mr. Shelby." she muttered before practically running out of the room to safety, to somewhere far away from the danger that was Tommy Shelby.

* * *

Two days had passed since he'd almost killed that nurse. Since then, she seemed to have been avoiding him, although he did note that she had, in fact, worn a neck scarf like he'd told her to. Regardless, there was a large, rather dark bruise around her wrist that apparently neither of them had noticed until it was pointed out by one of the other nurse's. After that, she wore long sleeved cardigans whenever he saw her. It normally made no difference to Tommy if a woman chose to avoid him, as they usually had a good reason to do so. Of course, this nurse had a good reason to avoid him - a very good reason, in fact. Still, he wanted to talk to her. Over the course of the two days she'd been avoiding him, he had told himself that he needed to talk to her to ensure she knew to keep her mouth shut about what happened but deep down, he knew, the truth was that he really just wanted to know her name, and he wanted to hear it from her. That was why he'd caused such a fuss when some blonde nurse appeared with a bowl of warm water and a cloth, ready to clean and redress his wounds. And by God, a fuss he did cause - shouting and swearing, demanding to see the nurse with the dark hair, describing her only as the nurse who'd saved his life. Therefore, when she appeared with a fresh bowl of water and a cloth, a look of extreme annoyance on her face, he could only smile smugly. Patiently, he waited until she had settled herself on the edge of the bed beside him before speaking.

"Good morning, nurse."

In an instant, her eyes were on his, her brow narrowed angrily, and her lips pursed into a disapproving pout. Whilst she fixed him with this look, he took a moment to look her over. Seeing as it was dark the first time they'd met, and she had been avoiding him ever since, he hadn't had a chance to really get a good look at her. And he wasn't disappointed: her hair was dark, almost as black as coal, and was once again pinned away neatly behind that stupid little white hat; her eyes were a dull grey, like the Birmingham sky in winter when it rains; her skin was white like snow and almost completely unblemished with her only flaw being two small scars - one on her left cheekbone, directly beneath her eye, and the other on her temple on the same side. On the whole, she was quite stunning.

"You've been avoiding me." he added, upon realising she had yet to speak.

"You seem surprised." she responded flatly, dipping her cloth into the bowl and wringing it out slowly.

"Well, I can see wh- "

"Keep your mouth shut please, Mr. Shelby." she interrupted.

His eyes widened slightly as he stared at her in genuine surprise. For a moment, he assumed she was simply being rude. Not that he could blame her, of course, given that he had almost choked the life out of her. It wasn't until she pressed the cloth to the cut spread across his lips that he realised rudeness had not been her intention. Still, he was a little offended. It stung when she pressed the cloth to his skin and he hissed involuntarily, sulking a little upon noticing the way she smiled at his reaction.

"I know it hurts but it'll get infected if we don't clean it. "

Tommy merely scoffed sarcastically before closing his eyes and letting her proceed with cleaning the wounds on his face. There weren't many but from what few there were, a few scars would be left behind. It took her almost fifteen minutes, from what he counted, to satisfactorily cleanse the wounds on his face. Only when he heard her calling for another nurse did he open his eyes, finding her now sitting with her back to him. Another nurse, the blonde girl from before, entered the room nervously.

"Can you bring me a bowl of fresh water please, Alice?" she asked, holding out the bowl she had previously been using. The blonde girl nodded softly, moving only to take the bowl before spinning and leaving the room.

"Are you going to avoid me forever?" Tommy asked, forcing his nurse to turn back to him.

"I'm not avoiding you, Mr. Shelby. It just so happens that I've recently discovered I'm not particularly fond of being strangled half to death." came her response, although she still refused to meet his eyes.

"I see," he paused. "I don't suppose I ever apologised for that?" he asked rhetorically.

"No, you did not." she answered anyway.

"Well, if I'm going to apologise properly, you're going to have to tell me your name."

Upon his request, she finally raised her eyes to meet his and he saw confusion in them. It was clear that she had not expected him to apologise. Perhaps she thought him to be a typically dimwitted gangster used to getting whatever he wants whenever he wants it. Although she may not be entirely wrong, he would be offended if that was what she thought of him. There was more to him than his business, he just didn't often let others see that.

"Elsie." she revealed finally.

"Well, Elsie," he nodded as he spoke her name, keeping his eyes on hers. "I would like to apologse for what happened the other night. I- "

Before he could continue, the door swung open, catching the attention of both Elsie and himself. Quickly, the blonde nurse made her way across the room to hand over the bowl of fresh water and a new cloth, exiting just as quickly, closing the door behind her again.

"Can you sit up on your own?" came her voice, catching his attention.

Truthfully, no he couldn't sit up on his own but there was not a chance he was about to admit that. And so, instead, Tommy placed his hands flat on the bed at either side of himself and attempted to push himself upwards but his strength had abandoned him and he could feel himself struggling. Without a word, he suddenly felt her hands on him, one gripping his bicep and the other resting low between his shoulder blades, helping him to help himself. A little ashamed, he said nothing, and simply nodded at her once he was steady in his seated position. Instead, he watched as she dipped the new cloth into the fresh water, once again wringing it out.

"Is it the war?" she asked quietly, and he felt himself freeze.

"What?" he asked in return.

"The nightmares." she clarified. "Are they about the war? Is that why they scare you so?"

Silence descended upon them and he simply stared at her look of concentration as she began to dab at a cut on his left shoulder. What the fuck was he supposed to say? For one, he was almost happy that she assumed he had nightmares about the war and not about any other unfortunate events he may have witnessed in his line of work. Tommy wouldn't lie to himself, he knew that she knew who he was. Everyone in Birmingham knew who he was, he'd have been more annoyed if she hadn't known. However, he didn't like talking about the war or the visions that had hauntd him since.

"I'm sorry," she spoke, interrupting his thoughts. "That was rather a rude question, you don't have to answer."

On the last word there, her eyes flicked up to his, resting only half a second before she looked away again, moving across his back to a cut on his ribs. For a moment more, he considered what she had asked him. It was obvious that he had been a soldier in the war, what with the many scars marking his body, not to mention she'd probably read the report of his injuries he'd been forced to give upon his return from France.

"Yes, they're about the war." he answered finally, with a heavy sigh.

Deciding to say no more about his experiences, he waited until she gave a solemn nod before turning his eyes away from her to instead focus on the outside world visible from the window. They remained silent whilst she washed all across his back, replacing any bandages that needed replacing. When she was done, she called for Alice again to get more clean water and another cloth. The little blonde girl disappeared once more and in the meantime, Elsie helped him to lie down comfortably again.

"Are you married, Elsie?" he asked suddenly.

"No." she answered after a long moment of silence and he realised he'd hit a nerve. "I uhm- I was engaged to be married," another pause. "before the war. He was shot and killed two months in."

Once more, silence fell over them and once more, she refused to look at him. In that moment, his heart broke a little for her. During his time in France, he'd seen many men die but he'd never given much thought to the women at home expecting these men to come back. Tommy could see the shimmer in her eyes and he reached up in time to catch the small tear that fell and immediately, as if to rid herself of the hurt, she shook her head and swiped at her eyes, taking a deep breath and then smiling at him. Before he could say anything else, Alice returned with more water and a new cloth, leaving immediately after setting them by the bedside.

"Are you married, Mr. Shelby?" she asked in return.

"No, and I doubt I ever will be." he answered with as much certainty as he could possibly convey.

At his response, she laughed, and he didn't miss the way she rolled her eyes. Again, she soaked the cloth before wringing it out but this time, when she pressed it to a particularly nasty cut on his ribs, he swore loudly and she jumped back from him a little. Immediately, she began to apologise, holding her hands out without touching him, as though she were afraid to touch him.

"It's fine." he tried to interrupt but her rambling continued. "Elsie, it's fine. Just- just talk to me? Tell me about where you're from, distract me." he commanded.

"Okay." she whispered, nodding, dipping the cloth back in the bowl. "Okay, uhm, I'm assuming you guessed I'm not English." she began and he averted his eyes as she wrang out the cloth.

"Well that was obvious." he responded, hissing again as she pressed the cloth to the cut, feeling her wince as he did so. "So where are you from?" he asked.

"I'm from Ayr. It's a little town about 70 miles from Glasgow. It's quiet there, not quite as industrialised as Birmingham but- "

"Is that why you moved down here?" he interrupted.

"Oh, eh, no. I moved after the war. I needed a change, I needed to get away from everything up there. I saved up as much as I could and I made it this far." she explained.

"Why'd you stop?" he asked.

"I ran out of money." she laughed. "I'd worked as a nurse in the local hospital back home and so I settled down here, got myself a job and- well, it turns out I actually quite like the place. And I'm done."

Tommy couldn't help but grunt appreciatively as she pulled the cloth away from his skin, allowing the cold air to soothe the burning sensation left behind. After a moment or two, he turned his eyes back towards her but upon noticing she had her back turned to him, he turned his eyes down to the open wound on his ribs. They were definitely broken. When she turned back to him, he was instructed to lift his arm above his head to allow her to redress the wound. This took approximately ten minutes and they were both silent the entire time. Only when she was completely finished did he speak.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome Mr. Shelby." she replied, gathering her bowl and cloth before standing from the bed.

"Elsie," he called just before she reached the door, causing her to turn back to face him. "Stop calling me Mr. Shelby."

"Alright," a pause. "Tommy." she smiled, ducking her head as she turned and left the room.

* * *

Had she known that night he had almost killed her that she would come to feel so protective of him, Elsie would never have agreed to take Thomas Shelby on her ward. It was inexplicable, she'd known him only four days yet she found herself thinking about him constantly, worrying about him. It wasn't that she was attracted to him, she had decided. Yes, he was remarkably handsome but there was something else, something she couldn't quite put her finger on and it drew her to him like a magnet. Therefore, when Inspector Campbell arrived at the hospital asking to speak to Mr. Shelby, she had felt dread settle in her stomach. It was as she had feared that first night he'd arrived - someone wanted him dead. Of course, she assumed that, considering his line of work, many people wanted him dead but this was the first time she'd witnessed anyone come close to achieving that goal and truthfully, it scared her. If someone was capable of eradicating Tommy Shelby and his hold on Birmingham, she couldn't even begin to imagine what that would mean for the rest of them. And knowing that she was the only thing standing between a crime boss and a bullet scared her even more. That was why, during her night shifts at the hospital with him, Elsie had taken to keeping a gun on the ward with her. Although she did not keep it on her person, she made sure to keep it accessible at all times, just in case. All through the night, she would reach into the shelf below her desk and just lightly brush her fingers against the cold metal in order to remind herself that it was there if she needed it. Although, she had never imagined she would need it as nights at the hospital were generally quiet and boring. That night however, had been very strange. Every sound, every cough and rustle of bedsheets was amplified in the silence of the corridors and she found her paranoia was beginning to get the better of her. It wasn't until she heard the slow, methodical footsteps moving down the corridor, drawing closer to her and closer to Tommy, that she really began to panic.

As quietly as she could possibly manage, Elsie took hold of the gun and moved to her feet. Stepping out from behind the desk, she moved herself into a position that she knew would shield her from the eyes of anyone walking down the corridor. As the footsteps drew closer, she took as deep a breath as she could possibly manage before stepping out, the barrel of the gun colliding with the dark figure towering above her. Immediately, the figure raised its hands in surrender, coming to a complete halt. Several seconds passed by before it spoke.

"Why do you have a gun, Elsie?" asked his voice.

"Tommy?!" she exclaimed, dropping the gun by her side, pushing his chest with her free hand. "Are you insane, I almost shot you!" she raged.

A soft chuckle sounded in the dark and he stepped forward into the light, allowing her to see him more clearly. His eyes were glistening and his lips were upturned in what appeared to be a genuine smile that only made her hate him more in that moment. What about this was so funny to him? Did he have any idea what could have happened? And why was he out of bed in the first place? A million questions raced through her mind until he broke the silence.

"You had no intention of pulling that trigger." he remarked, sounding almost smug.

"Oh no?" she retorted. "And what makes you say that?"

Tenderly, she felt his fingers lace around her wrist, the one he'd already bruised. It was obvious he was trying to be careful when he touched her but the bruise still hurt and she couldn't help but wince a little at the contact. Slowly, he raised her arm so that the gun was positioned between the two of them but still, he did not let her go.

"For one, the safety is still on." he replied, and she watched as he flicked it off. "And two, if you were really going to shoot, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Narrowing her eyes at him, she remained silent. Tommy Shelby was cocky bastard, she had come to realise. Her eyes scrutinised his face as he stared at her and she couldn't help but feel her anger melt a little. It was the eyes, those crystal blue eyes that were so light that even in the dark she could see her reflection perfectly clear. There was a little scar on his cheek that she hadn't noticed before, one similar to her own and she found herself wondering how he had acquired it. Carefully glancing upwards, she took note of his unruly dark hair, odd little wisps hanging just over his eyebrows. By God, he was gorgeous and only now was she realising that attraction might in fact have something to do with the protectiveness she felt towards him after all.

"Do you know how to shoot?" he asked, interrupting her appreciation of him.

"Yes." she replied.

"Have you ever fired a gun?" he asked.

"Yes." she replied.

"Have you ever fired a gun at a person?" he asked.

"No." she replied.

Upon her last answer, he tugged on her wrist and Elsie found herself moving as he lead her, letting him turn her so that her back was pressed to his chest, one arm holding her waist whilst the other helped her to raise the gun to aim at nothing. Without realising it, her breath caught in her throat at his touch, his warmth spreading through her even through the thick fabric of her uniform. He lowered his chin to rest on her shoulder and a shiver shook her whole body as his breath blew softly across her cheek. They stayed like that for a few moments more before he spoke.

"If you're going to shoot someone, Elsie, you shoot to kill." he instructed, and she nodded lightly.

"When you pull that trigger," he squeezed his finger over her's lightly, enough that she could feel the trigger give way but light enough to stop the gun from firing, "you need to be ready for the kickback as the gun releases the bullet," and this time he tugged her arm back towards her body, creating a strange, aching jolt in her shoulder that she had not been prepared for, "or else you'll hurt yourself. Do you understand?"

Tommy's voice was strangely soothing in her ear, washing over her with a sense of calm control that she imagined he expressed in all aspects of his life. Still, she could feel the gentle rhythm of his heart beating against her back and she marvelled at how relaxed he was in comparison to how uneasy she felt. Was it normal to feel so uneasy with a gun in hand? Perhaps it was easy for him because this was how he chose to live his life. Although she would never say such a thing out loud. Regardless, with his hand on her waist and his body enveloping her's so perfectly, Elsie couldn't help but think that the gun may not be the only reason for her feelings of awkwardness.

"Yes." she reponded.

At that, he stepped away from her and she almost instantly regretted her answer. Cold air attacked her as he moved to stand before her, releasing her almost entirely from his grasp. Only his fingers remained wrapped gently yet firmly around her wrist, his eyes locking on her's once he stood directly in front of her.

"If you're going to shoot someone, Elsie, you shoot to kill." he repeated and she allowed him to raise her arm so that the barrel of the gun rested ever so lightly against his forehead. "You shoot, no questions asked. Can you do that?"

Without a word, she simply nodded, unsure her voice could remain steady enough for a solid answer. And then, in an instant, he released her completely and took a step back from her. Even in the dark, she could see the shine of his cuts and bruises, and the way his whole body struggled to move as he wanted it to. He was hurting.

"You should be in bed, Tommy, resting." she announcd, clearing her throat as though it would somehow also clear the strange new tension between the two of them.

"Well, Elsie, put the gun down and you can walk me back to me room." he retorted, a brief smile flashing across his face, and with a smile and a nod, she helplessly did as he asked.

* * *

Not another day, not one more day would he spend lying in a bloody hospital bed waiting to be killed. The events of the previous night, Elsie pulling a gun on him, had reminded Tommy that to lie there injured was to simply wait for death and he wouldn't stand for it. Of course, the idea of that pretty nurse getting caught up in the crossfire had added to his determination to leave the hospital but he wouldn't admit that, at least not out loud. However, he did wait until he knew she was working before he decided to just up and leave. It was a little after six when he managed to get himself fully dressed and on his feet. And as he rounded the corner, moving towards the desk where she stood, he could see the apparent worry in her eyes as she noticed him.

"Evening, Elsie." he greeted but she simply frowned at him.

"What are you doing out of bed? Why are you dressed like that?" she asked blatantly.

"I'm discharging myself."

Upon his announcement, her eyes narrowed and her brow furrowed. Although he knew she was trying to give him a stern look, he couldn't help but think she looked rather cute.

"You can't." she declared in response.

"I can, and I am. Now, give me whatever it is I need to sign." he retaliated.

A triumphant smirk crossed his lips as she turned away from him and he watched her disappear into a little cupboard behind her desk. When she returned, she slammed the small pile of paper down in front of him before slamming her pen down too. Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet her's, frowning when she still held the look of disapproval.

"Thank you." he spoke as he picked up the pen.

"If you're discharging yourself early, you need to state why." her voice sounded from above him.

"Do I need to state why or do you just want to know?" he asked in response.

Waiting a few moments, he realised she wasn't going to give an answer. With a roll of his eyes and a huff, Tommy straightened up as best he could, meeting her eyes but noting that the dull grey still held only a look of worry. Giving up, he sighed and leaned forwards across the desk.

"It has come to my attention, Elsie, after last night, that your fears may be right and I am nothing more than a sitting duck in this hospital." he clarified for her. "I refuse to be a sitting duck, injured or not. Now sign my fucking papers and let me out of here."

His last demand caused her to widen her eyes and she scoffed loudly. Watching as she crossed her arms, he couldn't help but glance down at her chest but she cleared her throat disapprovingly before he could get a good look. Instantly, he brought his eyes back to met her's, which now looked challenging.

"You're not leaving this hospital without my say so, Mr. Shelby, so I suggest you find a much nicer way to ask me to do you this favour." she smiled politely.

"I'll match your wage for the month." he offered.

"What?" she blinked rapidly for a few seconds before taking a step back. "Is that what you think I want? Money?" she asked, and he frowned as her voice began to rise.

"I don't give a fuck about your money, Mr. Shelby. It's my job to keep you breathing, not to take bribes so you can get what you want."

Before she could rant or raise her voice any further, Tommy leaned as far across the desk as he could, clamping his hand over her mouth. Reaching across with his free hand, he grasped her upper arm and pulled her closer so that they were eye level. For a moment, he stayed silent, simply drinking in the flowery smell of her perfume. God, she was pretty. It had been two years since Grace had left him, two years since he'd stood this close to such a pretty woman-

"Listen, Elsie." he spoke before he could become distracted by her. "I am leaving this hospital with or without your permission. So you can either sign the fucking papers, or you can watch me walk out the door. It your decision."

She wrenched away from him then, swiping her hand across her mouth. Fear and sadness lurked in her eyes and he had to stop himself from apologising, even if he wasn't sure what he would be apologising for. After a moment or two, she picked up the pen and scribbled her name on the paper before slamming it back down again.

"Get out." she commanded.

"Give me your address?" he asked before he could stop himself.

Silence descended upon the two again as she stared at him. His heart skipped a beat, he swore, as she merely blinked as him and took a step back. Worried that she may walk away, he reached over the desk and picked up a blank sheet of paper, ripping it in half. He placed one half on top of the desk and the pen on top of the paper.

"What for?" she asked, her voice uncertain.

"You say it's your job to keep me breathing so if I ever think I might stop, I'll come to you." he responded, tapping the paper with his index finger.

Hesitantly, she moved forward and he held the pen out for her. As she took it from him, he noticed that she was careful not to touch him. His eyes followed her hand as she wrote her address neatly on the scrap of paper he'd provided for her and when she held it out for him, he made sure to brush his fingertips against the back of her hand. Then, with a nod, he tucked her address inside his coat pocket and left the hospital.


	2. Chapter Two

A week had passed since his discharge from the hospital. Seven days since he'd asked for her address with the unspoken promise that should he need her, he would find her. Now, a week was a long time to wait for something that had never been guaranteed in the first place and Elsie had eventually realised that the chances of Tommy Shelby seeking her out for anything other than medical help had been practically non-existent right from the moment he'd taken that little scrap of paper burdened with her address. Yet still, every time there was a knock on the door, her heart skipped a little and her breath caught in her throat, and despite knowing it would not be him, she was still saddened each time she was proven right until eventually, she began to dread the thought of him standing on the other side of her door. And as the days passed, the expectations of his visit lessened, and she began to focus her time on other, less emotionally dissatisfying, aspects of her life. Currently, Elsie sat curled up on her couch with an old, knitted blanket of her mother's wrapped around her body to keep her warm. In her hands she held a worn edition of 'The Good Soldier' that had also belonged to her mother. This was the first and only novel she had ever read in completion, and it was the only novel she ever cared to read for the rest of her life. Unfortunately, a knock on the door distracted her from her prized novel and with a huff, she set the book to the side and got to her feet. Keeping the blanket wrapped tightly around herself, she made her way to the door, pulling it open lazily only to lose all control over her own body, dropping her blanket to the floor at the sight of Thomas Shelby on her doorstep.

"Hello, Elsie." he spoke.

Unable to keep herself from staring, she trailed her eyes all across his form standing in her door way. Although his wounds had healed a little further from what she could tell by his face, he seemed unchanged. Clothed in his typical tweed suit with his long, heavy black overcoat shielding him from the drizzling rain, his hat pulled low so that it almost hid those crystal blue eyes from her completely. In his right hand he held an almost burnt out cigarette, his other hand tucked into his coat pocket as he leaned against the wall to the side of her door frame. After a moment or two of her staring, he cleared his throat and asked if she planned to invite him in or leave him standing in the rain. Rather than speak, she simply stepped to the side, watching in silent awe as Tommy swept passed her and into the house. Closing the door slowly behind him, she took a moment to collect her senses before wandering back down the hallway to find him standing in her living room with his back to her.

"You look surprised to see me." he spoke, removing his cap and pushing it into his coat pocket in place of his hand.

"I am." she responded as he finally turned to face her, removing his overcoat as he did so.

"Is that why you've still to offer me tea?" he asked, his tone somewhat playful.

"I don't have tea." she answered.

At that, he stopped half way through bending to take a seat on her couch. His eyes raised to her's and for a moment, she almost thought he looked equally as shocked as she still felt. Lips slightly parted and brows furrowed, his eyes flicked towards the small stove hidden away at the far end of her living room before returning to her as he slowly finished his descent into the couch.

"You don't have tea?" he questioned.

"No, I don't like it." she explained quietly, suddenly feeling very embarrassed.

"Well, what do you have instead of tea?" came his next question.

"I have coffee?"

The way she answered sounded almost like a question and she frowned a little at herself. With a subtle nod, he asked for coffee and Elsie made her way slowly towards the stove. Behind her, she could hear him strike a match and after a moment or two, the smell of smoke drifted towards her. They both remained silent, him smoking as she made coffee, until they had both completed the task at hand.

"What are you reading?" he asked, nodding towards her book as she took a seat next to him on the sofa, setting two cups filled with coffee on the table.

"It's called 'The Good Soldier'. It's the saddest story ever told." she responded, raising her eyes to meet his.

Rather than making a reply, he simply nodded and moved forward to take hold of one of the coffee cups and she couldn't help but watch as he raised it to his lips, sipping lightly before setting the cup back down. Afterwards, he reached into his pocket to produce a small cigarette case. Flicking it open, her eyes glanced down as he held it towards her.

"What are you doing here, Tommy?" she asked, taking a cigarette from his little case.

"I told you I'd visit." he answered, taking his own cigarette before returning the case to his pocket.

"You said you'd come to me if you ever felt like you were about to stop breathing." Elsie retorted, watching as he struck a match.

"True," he replied, holding the match out to let her light her cigarette, "but that was not to say that would be the only reason I might visit."

"True." she mimicked.

Holding the cigarette between her index and middle finger, Elsie inhaled deeply, drawing the smoke into her lungs in an attempt to calm her nerves. Thomas fucking Shelby was sitting on her sofa, lighting a cigarette and making conversational small talk. Never in a million years could she have possibly imagined this moment, not even in her wildest dreams.

"Although there is a purpose for my visit." his voice shattered the silence and her hopes that perhaps he had just wanted to see her.

"Is that so?" she asked, taking another long draw of her cigarette. "And what can I do for you, Mr. Shelby?"

"Stop calling me that." he replied with a roll of his eyes, causing her to smile and duck her head before he could notice.

"My brother owns the Garrison, although I assume you know that." he then stated.

"I'm aware." she confirmed.

"I'll also assume you know it's been closed recently." he paused, and she nodded softly. "Tonight is to be grand re-opening of The Garrison." he continued.

"Yes, I heard."

"And I'd like you to be there." he concluded.

For a moment, she was simply stunned. Tommy was inviting her to The Garrison. Why was he inviting her to The Garrison? He obviously wanted her to be there for the re-opening but did she want to go? Even if she did want to go, what would she wear? Nursing was not a particularly highly paid profession and she struggled to make ends meet at the best of times. Then again, how many chances does a girl get to go out with Tommy Shelby?

"I appreciate the offer, Tommy but I couldn't possibly go." she spoke softly but he fixed her with a look of annoyed confusion. "It's just that, I wouldn't have anything to wear." she continued, finding that she didn't want to disappoint him or give the impression she was turning him down.

"Ah," he spoke, stubbing his cigarette out in her ash tray, "that bring us to the second order of business."

He paused and leaned forward for his overcoat, fishing around in the inside pocket. After a moment or two, he drew back with an envelope in his hand. Reaching out for her with his free hand, Elsie let him take hold of her wrist and pull her arm towards him and her eyes lowered to watched as he placed the heavy brown package in her hand.

"What's this?" she asked, genuinely puzzled.

"I told you I'd match your wage for the month. From what I'm told your average wage for a month is somewhere around twelve pounds so," he leaned back into the couch and pointed at her hand still holding the money, "I matched it."

For a moment, she could only stare at the envelope in her hand. What was she supposed to say? Should she thank him? No; she didn't need his money and she'd made that quite clear. Still, it was a rather kind gesture, even if he had chosen to ignore her previous defiance. And it would certainly help with more than just buying a dress for the re-opening of the Garrison. Not that she was definitely going to go, of course, she was still a little undecided on that topic. Although, he was beginning to win her over.

"I can't- " she tried again but he interrupted her just as before.

"Now it's only eleven so you've got plenty time to go out and buy a nice dress for the night. The doors will be opening back up at seven and I will expect to see you there."

Without another word, he got to his feet and she could only pull her eyes from the money he'd given her to watch in awe as he pulled his overcoat back on and fixed his cap on his head. When he appeared to be pleased with himself, he stepped past her and disappeared from her view, leaving her sitting there still completely amazed but secretly thrilled by his actions.

"Oh, and Elsie!" she heard him call.

Setting the money on the table carefully, as though afraid it would disappear, and turning towards his voice, she found him standing by the living room door with her forgotten blanket in hand. Getting to her feet in an almost day dream, she crossed the room and took it from him delicately before raising her eyes to meet his but he wasn't looking at her directly. Instead, he seemed to be looking over her head.

"Wear your hair down."

Elsie flinched slightly as he mimicked his actions from that night she'd woken him from his nightmares, reaching up to pull free one of the pins from her hair, causing a few stray waves to escape their confines and fall across her shoulder. Slowly, she turned her head to watch as he tossed the pin towards the couch, staring for a moment as it landed softly on the cushion before turning back to him, this time to find him staring at her expectantly.

"None of those stupid pins."

It was obvious by the tone of his voice that this was not a suggestion but rather, a firm request. Once again, without knowing why but lulled by his commanding voice, she nodded in agreement. And then, just like that, he was gone.

* * *

Tossing the coin was a sacred act that could very easily determine the course of life, with heads leading one way and tails another. A little nudge in the right direction. It had been two years now since Tommy had tossed the coin that kept him away from her, away from Grace. Truthfully, he had been utterly devastated by the decision of the coin as, before he had even thrown it into the air, he had known he wanted to follow her. Yet still, he respected the outcome and he had let Grace leave alone. Perhaps the coin knew something he didn't. Two years it had taken, two whole years of loneliness and misery in her absence, of hating that fucking coin, before he had realised that maybe, just maybe, it had been right to keep him home. However, he couldn't be certain, not yet, and so he would have to bide his time. Elsie was a very strange girl, he had decided. A complete contrast to the girls he typically found himself attracted to. This girl was passionate yet controlled, powerful yet humble, opinionated yet quiet. It seemed that for every quality he admired in a woman, she had a counteracting quality he had not yet experienced. Unfortunately for her, this only made him want to experience more of her. Tommy Shelby did not like what he did not know or understand, and so he had made it his mission to both know and understand Elsie. For this reason, he had burned Grace's unopened letter. He hadn't needed to open it to know that's who it was from, her handwriting had changed little over the years and ruined what he imagined she had hoped would be a surprise. As he watched the remainder of the letter shrivel and burn, blackening as the flames licked at the remnants of the paper, he heard the door open. Turning his eyes upwards, Tommy watched as Polly entered through the back door, stumbling a little, making it clear she'd already had a drink or two. In the silence, she turned, her dark eyes meeting his and he could see the desperation and fear for her son that she was trying to disguise with hatred for him. After a moment or two, he spoke her name but, indignant as ever, Polly merely lifted her chin and moved past him, heading for the party. With a sigh, he followed her, determined to make her see sense but something else, _someone else_ , caught his eye before he could catch up to his Aunt.

Beautiful, was the only word that came to mind as his eyes trailed over her, the entire room seeming to grow dark in comparison to her blinding smile. Apparently she had taken his advice and had bought herself a new dress. Thin silver straps held the royal blue dress in place on her body, an equally thin silver belt tied around her waist so as not to disguise her shape. The dress fell just below her knees but was cut very low at the back, making it clear that, at least on her top half, she wore nothing underneath. The fabric itself shimmered in the light of the pub, glinting subtly as she moved this way and that. Long waves tumbled all the way down her back, almost reaching her waist which made him smile, having never been a fan of the short hairstyles that had become fashionable for women. Threaded through her hair was a blue headband which rested across her forehead and a silver headband which was pulled a little way into her hair, holding most of it back but letting a few short strands lay free to frame her face. These ribbons must have tied somewhere beneath as the ends hung loosely over her shoulder. After a good few minutes of staring at her, Elsie seemed to have noticed his attention and Tommy did not miss the blush that rose to her cheeks, an odd colour on her otherwise wintery skin. Wasting no more time, he made his way over to her.

"I see you took my advice." he commented upon reaching her.

However, it seemed she was far too fascinated by her surroundings to respond to him and so, he cleared his throat and held an arm out for her. Immediately, those dusty grey eyes turned up to meet his and she turned those red wine stained lips into a smile, slipping her arm through his lightly. Taking that as consent to lead her away from the door, Tommy did just that, leading her instead towards the bar.

"I feel extremely overdressed." came her voice from beside him.

Before he could reply, Arthur was stood before them, asking as many questions as loudly as always. Elsie was smiling, trying to keep up with his brother's barrage which was sweet, as not many women paid much attention to Arthur unless they wanted to fuck him in hope of gaining some kind of favour.

"What d'you drink, love?" he asked.

"Uh, vodka tonic please, Arthur." she responded politely.

Nodding his head in a surprisingly gentleman-like fashion, his brother marched along to the other side of the bar, leaving the pair alone again. However, before he had the chance to respond to her previous comment about feeling overdressed, Tommy noticed Ada's arrival and couldn't help but cuss under his breath. Of course, he had hoped his sister would make an appearance, particularly because he needed her help with Polly but he suddenly wished she would've made her appearance a little earlier. Excusing himself and simply receiving a smile and nod from Elsie, he made his way towards Ada with business on his mind.

"Hello, Ada." he greeted, resisting the urge to roll his eyes as Polly walked away upon his arrival.

"Tommy." his sister responded, taking the drink he held out for her.

"What d'you think, eh?" he asked politely as they turned to walk through the Garrison.

"It's very uh- "

"Gold." he finished for her and she simply laughed in response.

At that moment, John appeared from somewhere amongst the crowd, pushing his way towards his sister. He smiled a little as his siblings greeted each other. Although he would never admit it, he was hurt by his sister's decision to stay in London, especially after everything that had happened but unfortunately, it was her choice to stay and he knew she would only resent him if he forced her to return.

"Guess what, our brother's got a girl with him tonight."

Immediately, Tommy turned to face his brother and sister, the latter seeming amused whilst the former now appeared to regret having said anything. No words were spoken but still, John excused himself, leaving Ada with a smile on her face that he knew meant she was about to start asking questions.

"Not now." he spoke quickly, shutting her down before she could even start.

"So, what d'you want me to say to her?" she asked, turning to business instead.

"Just talk to her. No one can get through to her. Tell her I had no choice." he spoke, a nod from his sister signalling that she was happy with his words.

"Appreciate this." he thanked.

"Don't thank me yet," she responded with a sly smile. "I have questions about this girl." she teased before making her way towards Polly.

Rolling his eyes, Tommy made his way back towards the bar only to find Elsie engaged in deep conversation with Arthur. Now sitting on a bar stool, an empty glass sat between her elbows, which rested on the bartop with her hands laying flat. Arthur had mimicked her pose only he was resting his chin on his clasped hands. For a moment or two, he simply admired her and the way she spoke to his brother. This seemed to be another quality he hadn't experienced before: she actually gave a fuck about other people for no reason other than kindness. Safe to say, she was a fascinating woman.

"What are you two talking about?" he asked, leaning against the bar as he stood beside her, lighting a cigarette.

"Just telling the pretty lady to run while she still can." Arthur spoke.

At his words, Elsie laughed loudly, a beautiful sound unlike anything Tommy had heard before. Reaching up, he watched as she swept her hair to the side, tugging it away from the nape of her neck and pulling the waves over her shoulder to tumble down her front. As she did so, she looked up to him and smiled wide, pinching his cigarette from between his lips and taking a draw herself, shaking her head in disagreement with Arthur's statement.

"Do you think I'd run from you, Mr. Shelby?" she asked, returning the cigarette to his mouth with an exhale of smoke.

It was clear her tone was meant to be playful and sarcastic but it stirred something deep inside Tommy that he hadn't felt in a very long time: longing. Suddenly, the thought of her running from him was just a little horrifying and he subconsciously stepped a little closer to her, as though he could trap her beside him with his presence alone. Normally, he always had very good control over his emotions, always careful to keep them buried but at her teasing words he felt his skin grow unusually warm and he had to fight from reacting to her any further.

"I certainly hope not." he responded as coolly as he could possibly manage.

Once more, an awkward blush coloured her pale skin and she ducked her head in an attempt to hide it. A chuckle came from Aruthur at her reaction before he turned away, taking her glass with him as a sign that he intended to pour her another drink, once again leaving the two of them alone.

"You're very good with him." he spoke as soon as his brother was safely out of earshot, snubbing out his cigarette at the same time.

"What d'you mean?" Elsie asked in response, turning her eyes back up to his.

"Arthur can be very," a pause as he considered the right turn of phrase, "full on. Often he makes people uncomfortable. Not you." he explained.

"Of course not, he's lovely. Even if he is high as a kite." she laughed lightly.

Tommy couldn't help but smile at her response, finding himself amused by her. It became clear to him then that she was far too kind and genuine to be involved with a man such as himself. Without ever meaning to, he would ruin her like he ruined everything. Yet, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her, from her dusty grey eyes or her red wine smile, from her coal black hair or her lily white skin; she was like a rose in winter, a defiant but gentle flower made all the more beautiful by the harsh surrounding. Perhaps that was why he was so drawn to her - he never had been very good at leaving a pretty challenge alone.

"Would you like to dance, Elsie?" he asked without thinking.

"I'd love to."

Smiling lightly, he took hold of her hands and pulled her gently to her feet before leading her towards the much more open area of the Garrison. Even as they walked, the crowd seemed to part, making way for them until he finally stopped, twirling her under his arm as he pulled her towards his body, noting the matching smile on her lips. They stood as close as possible without touching, his hand on her waist and her's on his shoulder, their free hands linked together. Music boomed throughout the pub as he began to move, enjoying the wide smile on her face and the light in her eyes as he danced her through the crowd.

* * *

It was long after two in the morning when the pub finally closed down, bodies leaving in dribs and drabs, stumbling into the dark streets in search of the safety of a warm house and bed. After having consumed an excessive amount of alcohol herself, Elsie too was ready for bed and, although she had initially tried to protest, had agreed to let Tommy personally walk her home to safety. Truthfully of course, she was thrilled at the idea that he wanted to be sure she made it home but she knew that, in her drunken state, it was an an idea as equally dangerous as it was kind. Nevertheless, she stood outside the Garrison, a cigarette perched lightly between her lips as Tommy said goodnight to his family. Smoke floated around her as she listened, their voices loud as they quizzed him on her sudden appearance in his life. Of course, she was not completely deaf to the gossip of Birmingham's streets - she knew about Grace, and she knew that since the pretty blonde had left, the Peaky Blinders' boss had, had little interaction with any woman who didn't charge. It was stupid to assume that he would have interest in her other than the interest he had, had in these women beforehand but still, Elsie couldn't help feeling a little hopeful. After all, he had spent the night focused solely on her, not on Lizzie Stark or the like. The clanging of the Garrison door closing caught her attention, pulling her from her thoughts. Taking the cigarette from its perch between her lips and flicking it aside, she turned to find Tommy approaching her, already removing his overcoat. A frown came over her as he slipped the heavy black fabric behind her, pulling it around her shoulders.

"What are you doing?" she asked, laughing slightly as he fussed with the position of the jacket on her tiny frame.

"It cold, silly girl." was all he replied.

When it appeared he was finally content with the way in which she was engulfed by the overcoat, he stepped back with the hint of a smile on his lips. There was a soft glow to his skin, suggesting that he too was drunk. With a smile of her own, Elsie reached out to take hold of his arm, pulling him into step beside her as they began to walk down the street with the intent of making it to her little flat. Conversation was minimal but pleasant as they talked about the night, him stating that she was a terrible dancer and her declaring that he made a poor socialite. It was surprising to her but she found that she had actually rather enjoyed the company of Tommy Shelby and it was for this reason that, as they stopped outside her door, that she found herself scrambling for words, for anything that would make the night last a little longer.

"Would you like to come in?" she asked, reaching up to brush her hair away from her face nervously.

"For coffee?" he asked with a genuine laugh, leaving her slightly amazed.

"No," she laughed in response, pushing lightly on his chest, "I have vodka. And I think there's rum." she retaliated.

"Bet you don't have whisky." he remarked plainly, a smirk growing on his lips as she shook her head in the negative.

"Well, open the door." he responded after a few moments.

Unable to hide her smile, Elsie ducked her head and turned to the door, unlocking it with ease before entering and stepping to the side. Following right behind her, Tommy immediately made his way towards her living room and for the second time in just twenty-four hours, she had to take a moment to fully come to terms with the fact that she had the company of Tommy Shelby in her own home. It wasn't until she vaguely heard him call out about lighting the fire that she snapped back into focus, locking the door before making her way into the living room to join him. As she entered, she found him standing before her fireplace, the soft beginnings of a fire smoldering. He had discarded his suit jacket, leaving it draped neatly across the arm of the couch, his cap settled on top. One hand was tucked into his trouser pocket, the other raised to hold a cigarette to his lips. For a moment, just one, brief moment, it was hard to believe he didn't belong there.

"You can sit down, y'know." she teased.

Making her way across the room, Elsie pulled two glasses from the cupboard, filling both with vodka, listening to his footsteps as she did so but still, she waited until she knew he was seated before turning back to face him. Both glasses in hand, she crossed the room once more, handing one glass to Tommy before setting her own on the little coffee table. Reaching up, she slipped his overcoat from her shoulders, not missing the the spark of interest in his eyes as he watched her. Carefully, she lay the jacket over his own previously discarded suit jacket before moving to sit beside him, much in the way they had earlier in the day.

"I'm glad you had a good night." he spoke suddenly, leaning forward to snub out his cigarette.

"I did." she smiled. "Although I still maintain that you make a terrible socialite." she added with a laugh.

"I just have very little patience for people I don't know." he responded, sipping from the glass whilst simultaneously turning his eyes to meet hers.

"If that's true, why did you invite me?" she asked teasingly, leaning a little closer to him with a smirk.

"You interest me." he answered after a moment or two.

"Interesting is not a word I would use to describe myself." she laughed, shaking her head and leaning away again.

"And how would you describe yourself?" he asked in turn.

"I think," she paused, pursing her lips and furrowing her brow as she sought the right description. "I would say I'm quite plain." she concluded finally.

Rather than respond, he simply nodded and turned his eyes away from her but she noticed the little clench of his jaw and found herself immediately curious. Whilst he was no longer paying attention to her, Elsie took a moment to study him: his eyes were focused dead ahead, unblinking, his lips pursing slightly each time he sipped from the glass of vodka. As always, his expression was completely blank but every few seconds, he would clench his jaw. Perhaps he disagreed with her? With alcohol fuelling her confidence, she spoke.

"Do you think I'm interesting?" she asked quietly.

"I think you're beautiful."

Tommy's answer was immediate despite the fact his eyes never strayed from the wall in front of him. At his words, her breath caught in her throat and within seconds she could feel that familiar burning sensation in her cheeks as she blushed profusely. God, he had just called her beautiful! All common sense left her and it seemed her brain could focus on nothing other than his words, on the way the word beautiful sounded coming from his mouth. Only a handful of people had ever called her beautiful without then immediately trying to sleep with her. Maybe it the way he refused to meet her eye, the respect this suggested he had for her but suddenly, she found herself focusing very much so on the prospect of sleeping with him. Almost breathlessly, she whispered his name and slowly, he leaned forward to sit down his now empty glass before leaning back and turning his eyes to finally meet hers.

"You think I'm beautiful?" she asked, repeating his words back to him as though she didn't understand the meaning.

"That's what I said." he responded plainly.

Carefully, worried she might frighten him in his newly vulnerable state, Elsie moved to sit a little closer to him. The way in which his eyes flickered down across her body did not go unnoticed by her and when he raised them once more to meet her's, she could see the desire that lurked there. Gingerly reaching up, she brushed her fingertips against his cheek, smiling lightly when he tilted his head ever so slightly into her touch. After a moment or two, she dropped her hand to rest on his thigh, her smile becoming a smirk as she felt his fingers toy with the thin silver strap of her dress in response.

"You look very beautiful in that dress." he spoke.

A hum sounded from her as he spoke with a voice as seductive as the satin of her dress but his attention was no longer focused on her reaction to him. Instead, his eyes were trailing all across her body, his free hand reaching up to find the knot of the headband hidden by her hair, untying it gently before tugging it free, leaving black wisps to fall across her face. This only seemed to encourage him however, and he then moved both hands to toy with the silver belt around her waist.

"Thank you." she whispered, catching his attention.

"Elsie," he spoke softly, his eyes meeting her's. "I'm going to kiss you now."

Before her brain could even formulate a response, Tommy had moved forward and pressed his lips to her's in a very light kiss, his hands abanonding their fascination with her belt in favour of taking hold of her waist. It was a sweet but short kiss and as he began to pull back, Elsie found herself acting without thinking. Placing one hand on the nape of his neck, the other on his chest, she tugged him back towards her, meeting his lips again but this time much more forcefully. Immediately, the action escalated as leaned into her, the two of them slowly reclining until they lay across the couch. Firm in his grip, he grasped at her thighs, pulling her legs apart to settle between them, her own hands tugging at his shoulders to keep his mouth on her's. Quiet, breathy gasps escaped her between lust-filled kisses as his hands roamed, untying her belt, tugging at the straps of her dress, trailing up her thighs in search of lingerie. Eventually, he pulled back, his dark hair a ruffled mess from where her hands had trailed and tugged.

"Do you want this?" he asked, his lips moving to her neck before she could answer.

"Yes, Tommy, God, yes." she replied anyway.

In an instant, he had his hands placed firmly on her waist, sitting upright and pulling her with him so that she straddled his lap. Unwilling to waste even a single second, she found his lips once more, her hands already beginning to tug at the buttons on his shirt, unfastening them one by one, tracing the exposed skin with her fingertips as she went. As they moved, their kisses became much more hurried and frantic, fuelled by a lust Elsie hadn't known existed within her and as he tugged harshly on the straps of the dress, signalling that he wanted it off, she couldn't hide the smirk that caressed her lips. Pulling back from him, she took her time unfastening the rest of the buttons on his shirt, avoiding him each time he leaned forward to kiss her until he gave up, leaning back to let her continue. When she was done, she let her hands slowly trail up and across his chest, pushing the shirt from his shoulders, getting to her feet as he leaned forwards to remove it fully. With his eyes focused on her, she then trailed her hands upwards across her own body until her fingertips finally landed on the thin silver straps he'd almost torn in his attempts to remove her dress. Slowly, carefully, she pushed the straps off of her shoulders, letting the dress fall for the floor, leaving her standing before him completely naked. As the fabric hit the ground, Tommy's eyes widened appreciatively and after a moment or two of simply staring, he got to his feet. Elsie stood completely still as he stalked towards her, one hand gripping her waist to pull her closer whilst the other trailed through her hair, gathering a handful at the nape of her neck and tugging harshly. A hiss left her throat at the action but he only smirked as their eyes met. He stared for a few moments more, remaining silent but studying her with desperate eyes before he crushed his lips to her's once again.

* * *

Soft morning light cast a subtle golden glow in the room, creating a peaceful world Tommy had only ever experienced in his dreams. A few hours now he had been awake, simply recounting the events of the previous night. Sex had never been his intention with Elsie, at least not so suddenly. This girl was still practically a stranger to him, a mere passing fancy that he couldn't seem to stop thinking about no matter how hard he tried. Of course, he couldn't deny that she was beautiful and that he was certainly attracted to her. It was that fucking dress that did it. All night, his intentions had been pure - invite her out, show her a good time and walk her home, a kiss goodnight or whatever; it had been his intention to be a gentleman, or at least, as gentlemanly as he could possibly be. And then, oh God, then she had to go and show up looking like that. It was no secret that Tommy was not religious but he could have sworn that girl was an angel right then and he wanted nothing more than to watch her sin. Still, he tried to behave, to fight the urge to rip her damn dress clean off, and he'd done well, he thought, but all innocence left him when she simply placed her hand on his thigh. Flashing memories raced through his mind, the look on her face when he first slipped inside, the way she moaned his name when he pulled on her hair, the way her breasts bounced as she rode him, the way her legs shook and her eyes screwed shut and she tightened around him when she came. Just thinking about it had him ready to go again and the way her naked body was still wrapped around his was doing little to silence the desire. Also, there was a part of him that didn't want to disturb her, not when she appeared to be sleeping so peacefully. He supposed that was why he had yet to leave her. That, and he couldn't quite stomach the thought of letting her wake up alone - he would at least try to salvage any gentlemanly qualities he had left. Elsie stirred beside him, drawing his attention to her. Waiting patiently, he watched as she blinked several times before raising one hand to swipe through her hair, brushing it back from her face.

"Good morning, Mr. Shelby." she spoke without looking up.

Having only just awoken, her voice was thick with sleep and her cool grey eyes were glazed over. The light of the sun brushed across her skin, giving the pale white an angelic glow that was contrasted only by the darkness of her hair. Without a doubt, she was positively stunning.

"Good morning, Elsie." he responded.

After a moment or two, she readjusted her position beneath the sheets so that she was lying on her front, pushing herself up to rest on her elbows before meeting his eyes. A wide smile came across her lips and Tommy couldn't help but move quickly to place a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth. As he settled back comfortably in her bed, he placed one hand behind his head, reaching up to tangle the other in her hair, toying with the strands delicately. Silence descended upon them as she tilted her head and let her eyes drift to a close, releasing a soft sigh as she allowed him to play with her hair. They stayed like that for what felt like a very long time before she spoke.

"So last night- " she trailed off, leading him.

"Yes?" he goaded.

"We uhm-" she trailed off again, a blush attacking her pale skin.

"We did." he confirmed.

At his confirmation, she ducked her head and laughed softly. Dark waves fell around her face and he absent-mindedly brushed a hand through her hair to push them back, allowing him to see her face again. When she finally returned her eyes to his, it was clear that she held no regrets with regard to the night they'd spent together. A weight seemed to lift from his chest and Tommy only then realised that he'd been worried about what she might think about their little tryst. After all, they barely knew each other. Although, it was likely that she knew more about him than she was letting on, which only made it more frustrating that he knew so little about her. Perhaps even more frustrating was that he actually wanted to know more about her. He had said himself that he wanted to both know and understand Elsie and so it was only right that he made a conscious effort to do so.

"I must admit, I was expecting to wake up alone." her voice interrupted his thoughts.

"I told you last night, you interest me." he responded.

"That does not mean you would stay." she countered, her smile bearing the slightest sadness.

"I want to stay," he admitted after a moment, "but I have business to attend to."

No answer came from her but he could tell that this is what she had expected. Moving quickly, Tommy knocked her shoulder, pushing her onto her back and grabbing her waist to pull her beneath his body, laughter erupting from her as he did so. Hovering over her, he waited until her laughter subsided, one arm flung haphazardly up beside her head whilst she traced her fingertips across his chest with her free hand, his own hands still holding her waist.

"What's your surname?" he asked, and she giggled

"We've already had sex, does it matter?" she asked, her giggling increasing.

"What is it?" he asked again, rolling his eyes at her answer but fighting a smile of his own.

"Macintyre." she answered finally.

"Right," he began with a nod, "well, Miss Macintyre," he continued, making her giggle again, "this is not the last we shall be seeing each other."

Moving away from her, he settled himself so that he was sat on the edge of her bed and began to search for his clothes, redressing himself. From behind him, he heard the rustle of sheets and he paused, glancing over his shoulder to watch as she wrapped her blankets around herself, resting on her side, albeit propped up on her elbow.

"Is that so, Mr. Shelby?" she asked, eyeing him suggestively.

Unable to help himself, Tommy adopted a wicked smirk as he turned his body, leaning across the bed to bring his lips to her ear, brushing his fingertips against her collarbone as he did so, delighting in the feel of the shiver that passed through her at his touch.

"I _much_ prefer when you call me Tommy."

The soft sound of her breath catching in her throat let him know he'd had the desired affect on her. As he pulled back, he took note of her furious blush and the sheets clenched tightly in her grip, her knuckles turning white. He merely watched her as she attempted to calm herself, avoiding his eyes as he finished redressing himself and when he was done, he cockily leaned across the bed again to press a gentle kiss against her lips. She responded immediately, using her free hand to grab at his upper arm, attempting to pull him closer. With a playful roll of his eyes he pulled back from her, chuckling slightly at the sight of her unamused expression.

"I'll see you soon, Elsie."

Once more, he pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth before pulling back completely, amused by the dramatic way in which she threw herself back on the bed. A few moments passed before she finally conceeded, although her tone was still comically unamused as she bid him farewell.


	3. Chapter Three

**Hi guys!**

 **I've been fairly quiet throughout the posting of this fic and thought it was about time I said thank you for all the support I've received. Honestly, I never imagined this story getting so much attention but I am so happy with the reaction.**

 **Now, this chapter is a little shorter but there's a lot of focus on Elsie's background and their developing feelings. This is also when things really start to kick off for the Blinders so I didn't want to go too overboard.**

 **Please, please, please leave me some reviews, whether they're good or bad, feedback is always helpful for me and once again, thank you so much for the love you've already shown this fic!**

 **~ crownedinvictoryx**

* * *

Days passed by slowly, dragging past with what felt like a deliberate laziness. Work was as monotonous as always and so offered no escape from the waiting game Elsie had come to realise she was playing. After the night they had spent together, with the very real promise, this time, that they would see each other again, it seemed that Tommy had completely disappeared. Through the grapevine, she had heard that he was in London on business and by the grapevine, she simply meant that Arthur had given away his brother's whereabouts during a visit to the Garrison. It was unsurprising of course, that in his line of business, he would be required to travel - he seemed a very ambitious man who no doubt had business on his mind at all times and in all locations. However, she was a little disappointed that he hadn't had the decency himself to inform her of his travels and had instead left her with nothing more than confused silence. Still, she supposed he had some logical reason for keeping quiet, other than the fact they were still no more than strangers to each other. Sex could not change the reality of their situation, which was that, other than their names and their professions, they knew nothing about each other. Determination crossed her mind then and she decided that the very next time she should spend any time with Tommy Shelby, she would make a conscious effort to get to know the man behind the stories. Although for now, she had work to go to. In the past few days, there was one particular patient in her ward who was not expected to survive the week and so, Elsie had decided to pick up some flowers on her way to the hospital. As she stood in the market, studying the vast array of colourful flowers to choose from, some laying loose and some already arranged in bouquets, she was surprised to hear the voice she had so desperately wanted to hear for days.

"And here I was under the illusion that women waited for men to buy them flowers."

Afraid of reacting too quickly, she simply turned her eyes upwards to meet his but he was otherwise occupied by the flower stall before them, his cool blue eyes flicking across the colours as though he were looking for one very precise flower in particular. There was a look of lazy concentration coupled with mild curiosity held on his features and he maintained this look for a good few minutes more in the silence before he finally turned to meet her eyes.

"D'you like flowers?" he asked plainly.

"They're not for me." she responded softly, turning her eyes back to the stall.

"Then who might they be for?" he asked from beside her.

"One of my patients. She's an older woman," a pause as she reached out to pick up a white lily, "and the doctor doesn't expect her to see out the week," another pause as she picked up a pink rose, "so I thought I would take her some flowers, if for no reason other than to brighten up her room a little."

As she concluded her brief explanation, she turned her eyes back towards him to find that he was still focused intently on her, a smile hiding in his eyes despite his blank expression. Elsie was slowly learning that any emotional reaction from Tommy was conveyed through his eyes. Feeling a little awkward under his gaze, she raised the flowers she had picked up so that they settled right in front of him, as a way of silently asking for his opinion. Reaching up, he took the lily from her hand, his fingertips brushing against her knuckles as he did so before setting it back in place on the stall. When he turned back to her, he nodded lightly towards the rose she now held close to her chest.

"Buy the roses. Lillies are for funerals and that would be rude."

Laughing at the logic of his decision, Elsie turned back to the stall, picking out five more pink roses before handing them over to be wrapped into a bouquet. As she waited, she turned back to Tommy, who was now focused once more on the flowers.

"I like daffodils." she confessed, and he turned to her with a questioning expression.

"You asked if I liked flowers," she reminded him. "I like daffodils, they're my favourite. If not daffodils, any flower that's purple, particularly sweetpeas."

"I see," he nodded absently. "Why purple?" he then asked.

"It's my favourite colour."

Before he could respond, Elsie turned her attention back towards the stall just in time to receive the now beautifully wrapped roses. Holding the bouquet in one hand, she used her free hand to pull money from her coat pocket, handing it over with a smile and polite thanks. Resting the flowers in the crook of her arm, she turned back to Tommy.

"Are you particularly busy?" she asked him.

"No." was all he replied.

"Well then, would you like to walk with me on my way to work?"

A very slight smile crossed his lips and with a roll of his eyes, he turned in the direction of the hospital, glancing back at her expectantly. With a smile of her own, she fell into step beside him as they made their way through the rest of the market.

* * *

Winter had brought with it a darkness that descended upon the city without warning and a chill that could rattle the very bones of man. For this reason, Tommy had always hated the winter season - he supposed that was the gypsy in him as better weather made for much more comfortable travels. However, when the harshness of winter began to settle into the streets of Birmingham, it became much easier to take care of the more illegal aspects of business as the cloak of darkness kept prying eyes at bay. For this reason, he had always loved the winter season as the quick completion of business allowed him home at a reasonable hour. Yet, strangely enough, as he had made his way back through the market on his way home, he had come to a stop once more by the flower stall and, without really knowing why, had picked out a rather random selection of every purple flower he could find, and had them tied with purple ribbon. Afterwards, he had not gone home but rather, he had turned and made his way towards the little flat where he knew he would find her, and knocked upon her door. When she answered, she still wore her nurse's uniform, the white of it dulled by awkward little splats of blood and God only knew what else she'd attracted during the day at work. Half way through removing that stupid hat he hated so much, she had held hair pins in both hands and several between her teeth, struggling with those still tangled in her hair. Upon noticing the flowers, her eyes had widened and the pins fell from between her teeth as she gasped, clearly delighted. It had taken a moment or two before laughter overcame her and she allowed him entrance to her home. Now, Elsie busied herself behind him, organising the flowers in a large jar whilst he poured himself a glass of her vodka.

"These are beautiful." she murmured.

Catching his attention, Tommy turned so that he could face her but she was still focused on the flowers. Safe to assume she was pleased with his little gift, albeit unplanned as it was. When she eventually did turn to face him, he couldn't help but feel pride swell in his chest at the sight of her wide smile. Having removed the rest of the pins from her hair, the dark waves fell loosely down her back with the odd few, shorter strands which were not quite long enough to be caught behind her back settling across her shoulders, even shorter strands framing her face. Those dusty grey eyes were unforgivingly bright in the dim light of the room as she met his gaze and he couldn't help but think the flowers pathetic in comparison to Elsie. Moving slowly, he crossed the room and settled into what had quickly become his usual seat on her couch. When he was seated, he set his glass on her cluttered coffee table before leaning back to extend a hand to her which she took immediately, allowing him to pull her into the seat beside him.

"So," he began, moving to pick up his glass once more, "what's your book about?" he asked, glancing briefly towards the novel she had been reading the first time he'd visited.

"Oh, uhm, it's a love story, I suppose." she answered, leaning forward to pick up the book.

"I thought you said it was the saddest story ever told?" he asked, not missing the surprise in her eyes as she met his own.

"Well, yes, it is. Not every love story has a happy ending, Mr. Shelby. This book is more about how we manipulate love to get what we want, and how love manipulates us and how easily we let it." she explained, seeming excited by his interest in the story.

"How depressing, why would you want to read a story like that?" he frowned, setting down his glass before taking the book from her hands and flicking it open.

"It's the only story I've ever read." she responded with a soft laugh.

"You haven't read any other books?" he turned his eyes back to meet her's.

"No. I uhm, well, I only learned how to read when I got the nursing job during the war."

Tommy noticed the way she dropped her eyes from his at her confession, the awkward pink colour returning to her cheeks. It seemed she was embarrased by this little fact about herself, not that he understood why. Finn couldn't read, at least not very well, nor did he want to learn, no matter how many times Pol tried to force him into it. There was no shame in it, although it seemed Elsie felt differently.

"And this is the book you chose to read for the rest of your life? I'd consider that the much more shameful of the two." he spoke, his tone playfully sarcastic as he attempted to distract her from her embarrassment.

As her eyes raised once again to meet his, a gleam of amusement hiding in the grey, he was caught off guard by her speed as she grasped hold of his shirt and pulled him in, connecting their lips. Maintaining his surprise for only a few seconds more, he abandoned the book on the couch between them, moving his hands to take hold of her waist. Pulling her a little closer, he marvelled at how small she felt pressed against him and it sparked a protectiveness in him that he hadn't felt in a very long time. It was safe to say he liked this girl, or at least, he was beginning to.

"What was that for?" he asked when they eventually separated.

"For not just assuming that I'm," a pause as she shrugged her shoulders, "stupid, I suppose."

"Are you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as he teased her.

"No," she laughed, pushing at his shoulder, "I just didn't go to school. My dad died when I was very young and my mother was too ill to work most of the time. I looked after her and my brother worked to keep the roof over our heads. Then I met Anthony and he was lovely, and he helped look after my mother, and we got engaged."

As her story continued, it became apparent that she talking more to herself now than to him, a sadness creeping into her tone that Tommy decided he didn't like. With her eyes now focused intently on her lap where her hands were fidgeting restlessly, he sat up a little straighter and moved a little closer to her.

"About two weeks before he enlisted, I found out I was pregnant. I knew if I told him the truth, he would never go to war and that would get him in trouble so I kept it a secret. When I found out he'd been killed, I don't really remember what happened but when I woke up I was in hospital. I lost the baby, they told me. The stress of what happened, they said."

Silence settled over the whole room as she grew quiet, trailing off. A feeling of sorrow washed over him and he couldn't help but think that perhaps Elsie's story was the saddest story ever told. Although her eyes were still trained on her hands, which were now still but shaking, he could tell she was crying. There was nothing he could say that would ease her pain, it was a pain she had lived with for much too long and yet, he wanted to try. Tommy wanted nothing more than to take away that pain because girls like her, so kind and caring and genuine, did not deserve to suffer in the way she had. Slowly, carefully, he took hold of her shaking hands but she reacted quickly, pulling her hands away from him, tossing her head back and swiping away her tears with a humourless laugh.

"I'm sorry," she spoke, her voice broken with a kind of sadness he had never heard before. "I don't know why I told you that, I really shou- "

"I'm sorry, Elsie." he interrupted her, not knowing what else to say.

Eventually, she let her eyes meet his and he could see there just how damaged she was. Having been a soldier, he knew that the war had damaged everyone in some way, himself included but it had never occured to him that soldiers like himself were not the only ones quite so severely damaged; they weren't the only ones who had experienced horrors from which they would never recover. He supposed that, although the pain she felt was different from his own, it was no less heavy to carry. Once more moving slowly, Tommy slipped one arm around her waist and the other beneath her thighs, lifting and pulling her gently to settle on his lap and almost instantly, he felt her body melt into his, one hand placed on his ribs and the other against his chest, her face burying into the crook of his neck whilst he kept one arm wrapped around her waist, stroking his free hand through her long hair in an attempt to soothe her. They stayed like that for a good fifteen to twenty minutes, in silence, Elsie content to be just held and him content to just hold her, before she pulled back from him, meeting his eyes with a tired expression.

"How about we get you to bed?" he asked, surprised by the gentleness of his own voice.

"I'd like that." she whispered.

Raincloud eyes drifting closed, Tommy allowed her to lean back against him before he moved, taking hold of her by her waist and her thighs once more as he stood, lifting her with him. For a fully grown woman, she was light as a feather and he found himself marvelling again at how small she felt pressed against him. Only when she had slipped both arms around his shoulders, holding herself tight to him, did he take her to bed, his protective streak encouraging him to stay the night.

* * *

Embarrassed was too weak a word to accurately describe how Elsie felt. Why on earth she had told him about her past like that, she couldn't understand. After all, he was nothing more than a stranger, really; not to mention an ex-soldier and so it was highly likely that her traumatic past didn't even compare to the things he'd seen in France. Yet, he stayed. All through the night, he lay in bed with her, holding her close and playing with her hair, trailing his fingertips across as much of her skin as he could reach, whispering quiet and comforting words whenever he noticed she had started to cry again. Truthfully, that night had been the first time that she'd finally felt the pain of her past begin to ease even just a little and she couldn't help but feel that maybe Tommy had something to do with that. It was slowly becoming clear to her that there was a lot more to Thomas Shelby than just his reputation as Birmingham's biggest crime boss. That was why, she supposed, when he knocked on her door and asked her, with no explanation as to why he needed her, to accompany him to his office, she had gone without question. It wasn't until she saw the blood stains on Arthur's clothes and the shaking of his hands that she understood why she was needed. This was illegal business and it seemed, whatever the aim, the Peaky Blinders had been the target. Of course, Elsie knew better than to ask questions regarding illegal business and so she had simply given Tommy his orders before settling down to clean up Arthur's hands.

"Your knuckles are burst wide open on this hand, Arthur." she spoke tentatively, having cleaned away the blood to better assess his injuries.

"I'd like to put in a few little stitches, if that's alright with you?" she asked, turning her eyes up to meet his.

Rather than reply, he slumped a little further into his chair and turned his head so that he could focus his eyes on the fire beside him. Not wanting to continue without his permission, she turned her eyes to Tommy and kinked an eyebrow, silently asking for his permission instead. A sharp nod was the only response she received but it was all she needed and for the next twenty minutes, she worked in silence, stitching the skin of Arthur's knuckles back together. Only when she was done and had set her needle aside did he turn back to meet her eyes and although he said nothing, there was thanks in his eyes. Their stare only lasted a few seconds before he turned away again, resuming his previous position. It was unusual to see him so quiet and it was clear that whatever had happened was playing heavily on his mind. With a soft sigh, she moved to press a light kiss to his cheek before getting to her feet.

"John, look after him."

Tommy's voice was filled his usual commanding tone but there was the slightest hint of worry present as well. As soon as he spoke, he turned and left the room, his heavy footsteps fading as he moved further away. Whether or not it had been intentional, he had left the door open behind him and so, albeit hesitantly, Elsie crossed the room to follow him. The betting shop was not particularly big and so it was easy enough to find him hidden away in his own office, sitting at his desk with a cigarette perched between his lips and a glass of whisky in his hand. Even as she entered, he kept his eyes trained on the glass, swirling its contents.

"Are you okay?" she asked gently.

For the briefest second, his eyes flicked up to meet her's before returning to his glass. No answer came from him but she did not miss the way he clenched his jaw, something he only ever did when he had something to say but was fighting against it. So as not to provoke him, she moved slowly, crossing the office floor and rounding the desk to stand beside him, leaning against the wood. Still, he did not move.

"Are you angry?" she asked, focusing her eyes on his stony facial expression.

Once again, he raised his eyes to meet her's but this time he did not look away, instead snubbing out his half-smoked cigarette and reaching for her. Elsie allowed him to take hold of her hand, moving with him as he lead her to sit on his lap. As soon as she was seated, she slipped one arm around his shoulders, her free hand toying absently with the buttons on his suit jacket. Tommy sat with one arm resting across her thighs, his free hand beginning to tug at the pins in her hair, pulling them loose. They remained silent but maintained eye contact until he had finished and was brushing his fingers through the dark waves he had freed.

"I love your hair like this." he mused.

"It's not very practical, I was thinking about cutti- "

"Don't," he interrupted, pausing briefly before continuing, "don't ever cut your hair."

It was clear from his tone that his words were a command rather than a suggestion and she couldn't help the smile that took hold of her lips. Normally, the very thought of a man telling her what to do would piss her off but somehow, when it came to Tommy, she only ever found herself obeying him. Perhaps because it wasn't so much that he told her to do but instead made her feel that there was no need for her to change. Regardless, any thoughts she had previously had of cutting her hair evaporated immediately as he toyed aimlessly with the long strands.

"I'm not angry at Arthur." he spoke suddenly, turning his eyes away from her.

"Then why are you angry?" she asked, attempting to keep the curiosity out of her voice.

"You don't need to know that. All you need to know is that Arthur did nothing wrong today, alright?"

Although he phrased it as a question, Elsie knew it was more of a statement. Whatever Arthur had done, as far as Tommy was concerned, he had done nothing wrong and after a moment or two, she realised that she didn't really care about what he had done - just knowing that he was alright was all she needed to know. Of course, a darker part of her wanted to know more but common sense told her not to push her luck.

"Thank you, for taking care of him."

Rather than reply, she simply smiled at him and leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. When she pulled back, he leaned forward to set his whisky glass on the desk before tapping his hand against her knee and pressing his free hand against the small of her back to help balance her as he pushed them both to stand.

"Come on," he spoke abruptly, reaching for his overcoat. "I'll walk you home."

At that, he moved toward her and Elsie stood perfectly still as he mimicked his actions from that night at the Garrison, pulling his coat around her shoulders, tugging it this way and that until he was content, with her watching him in amusement all the while. When he was finally satisfied, he let one hand rest on the small of her back once more and she allowed him to lead her back toward the door.


	4. Chapter Four

**Hi guys!**

 **I got some really lovely reviews after that last chapter so I just wanted to say thank you! I am really loving writing this story and it's great to hear that you guys love it as much as I do.**

 **With that said, I hope you guys enjoy what's to come and as always, please let me know what you think!**

 **~ crownedinvictoryx**

* * *

Morning had barely passed and already the day had been a fucking awful one, despite the fact that he had awoken with the best of intentions. First of all, his face was still suffering a slight sting courtesy of the hard slap bestowed upon him by Mrs. Hancox, the force of it splitting the skin by his eyebrow; although he knew he had deserved it and so refused to complain. Secondly, he had been expected to willingly accept that he was now decidedly under the control of IRA members in support of the King's Treaty, as per Campbell's request. And thirdly, not only did Campbell expect him to simply bow down without question, he also expected the successful completion of another assassination in the King's name. To say therefore, that Tommy was angry would be the understatement of the year; he was not angry, he was fucking livid. Who the fuck did these bastards think they were? And who the fuck did they think they were dealing with? Thomas Shelby would not bow to any man without having something to gain from it, not again. However, the day had not been all bad, he supposed. Michael had expressed an interest in joining the business, though it was highly unlikely Polly would allow it but that was a problem for later. For now, he had only one thing on his mind - Elsie. It had been a few days since he'd seen her last and he was ashamed to admit that yes, he had been intentionally avoiding her because in all honesty, he was afraid of how rapidly he was beginning to develop feelings for the girl. Over the course of the two years since Grace had left he'd made sure never to engage in anything more than physical relationships with women as strangers and whores kept him numb to the heartbreak. Not to mention that paying these women for their services made him feel like he still had some kind of control over his emotional affairs. And then she came along with her kind nature and her genuine concern, her defiant attitude and her challenging curiosity; with her dusty grey eyes and her red wine lips, her lily white skin and her coal black hair. God, she was fucking gorgeous inside and out, drawing him in before he could even consider resisting and that scared him. A long time had passed since he'd last let his emotions influence his thoughts and Tommy found that when he was with Elsie, not only did he allow his emotions an influence, he let them rule completely. There was just something about her that forced him to break composure and no matter how hard he had tried to stay away these past few days, to tell himself that getting involved with her would not only put her in danger but would also cause trouble for himself, a part of him desperately needed to see her. That was why, upon discovering she was not at home, he had gone to the hospital, assuming it to be the second place he was most likely to find her and, as he so often is, he was right. After making his way to the ward in which he had previously been a patient, he found her sitting at the same large desk as before with her back turned to him, engaged in conversation with another nurse. It was not the blonde girl, Alice, he noted. As he approached, this new nurse must have recognised him as her eyes immediately locked on his and her voice grew quiet before trailing off completely, leaving the ward silent. Clearly confused by her friend's strange behaviour, Elsie turned just as he reached the desk, positioning himself so that he was leaning against it whilst still fully facing her.

"Tommy?" she asked, surprise in her voice.

At her acknowledgement of him, the nurse she had been talking to turned abruptly and scurried off down the hall, although she didn't seem to notice. With her eyes focused on him, Tommy removed his cap, tucking it into the pocket of his overcoat and in an instant, she had his jaw in her grip, forcing him to turn his head to the side. Of course, he knew what she was looking at but he chose to remain quiet and perfectly still as she studied him.

"What happened to your face?" she asked, her tone filled with concern.

"Doesn- "

"If you're about to say it doesn't matter, you can about-turn and leave this hospital, do you understand me?"

This time, her tone was stern and he couldn't help but smirk a little as she released her grip on him, folding her arms tightly. Turning to meet her eyes, he took a moment to simply study her. As he had expected, her hair was pinned up behind the little hat but she wore an expression he hadn't seen on her before - worry. Blazing blatantly obvious in her eyes was a genuine worry that filled him with an emotion he couldn't quite describe. It wasn't quite love, he wouldn't call it love but the thought that Elsie was genuinely concerned about him had him feeling something that was pretty damn close.

"It's just a scratch," he answered, hoping to lessen her worry, "Nothing I didn't deserve, let's leave it at that, shall we?"

Although she rolled her eyes at his response, he could tell that she had no intention of pushing for a more in depth answer. Instead, she simply scoffed at him and moved around the desk, uncrossing her arms only to take hold of his hand, pulling him down the hall. Silently, he followed and allowed Elsie to lead him to a small room at the end of the hall, filled with every piece of medical equipment he could possibly imagine. An examination room, he assumed, or a room for treating minor injuries. Tommy allowed himself to be pushed into the only chair in the room and he watched as she flitted around him, grabbing at various things she clearly intended to use on him. When she was quite satisfied with her collection, she soaked a cloth and finally turned to face him, taking hold of his jaw and turning his head much in the way she had before.

"You're rather quiet." he commented as she began to wipe away the blood that stained his head.

"I have nothing to say." she responded flatly.

"I think you're angry with me." he goaded her.

"Why would you think that, Tommy?" she asked, feigning confusion.

"I've been avoiding you." he answered honestly.

"Have you? I hadn't noticed."

Dripping with sarcasm, her tone betrayed her words and let him know that she was definitely angry. Pulling out of her grip, her turned to meet her eyes and for a few moments she simply held his stare before straightening up with a sigh, signalling her defeat.

"I'm not angry, I'm just- I don't know. A little hurt, I suppose. Not that I shouldn't have expected it, of course. I've heard the many stories about the women you take interest in and I was- well, I was stupid to assume I'd be any different to y-"

"You are different." he interrupted her as she began to ramble.

"Then why have you been avoiding me?" she asked after a moment.

"I've been avoiding you because you're different." he answered.

However, it was clear from her tone and the way she kinked an eyebrow before frowning at him that he had confused her. Standing casually, Tommy reached out to take hold of her wrist, pulling her closer and sliding one arm around her waist as he did so. In response, she placed both hands on his chest as though to keep distance between them and he simply let his other arm encircle her waist to keep her close. A few moments passed in which he simply held her as close as she would allow until he finally felt her body relax against him.

"You're not like those girls, Elsie. Now, I can't quite explain how you make me feel so don't ask me to try. All I'll say is that you make me feel something I haven't felt in a very long time. Why else would I come all this way just to have you clean up this little scratch, eh?"

An awkwardness settled in the air around them as he waited patiently for her response as, despite her silence, he could tell her mind was whirring. Still pressed against his body with her eyes locked on his, she caught her lower lip beneath her top teeth and furrowed her brow furiously. A good few minutes passed during which she maintained this look and Tommy couldn't help the nerves that began to settle in his stomach. Perhaps he had made a mistake. What interest could a woman like her ever have in a man like him? Just as he was about to release her from his hold, she spoke.

"Are you trying to tell me you like me?" she asked, a wide smile breaking out across her lips.

Instead of giving her a verbal answer, he simply rolled his eyes and ducked his head to capture her lips, pleased when she responded immediately. When he pulled back however, her smile was cockier than ever but he couldn't deny the joy he felt when he noticed the shine in her eyes. It seemed she greatly appreciated his little confession.

"Alright, don't get too excited." he teased, fighting a smile as she began to giggle. like a school girl. "Are you going to clean up this scratch or not?" he asked, his tone playfully stern.

Fully laughing at him now, Elsie pushed him back into the chair and he remained silent while she worked. Of course, it only took around five minutes for her to take care of the little cuts but he enjoyed the feeling of her hands on him. If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend he lived a normal life. When she was done, he was watched her as she packed away all the equipment she'd used on him before taking his hand, pulling him to his feet and leading him back towards the large desk where he'd first found her.

"So, I'll see you soon then?" she asked, turning her body to face his as they came to a stop.

"You'll see me soon." he answered.

It came to his attention then that the ward was much busier than it had been when he'd first arrived and now, with their sudden appearance together, every single person seemed to have stopped still to watch. Tommy could only imagine what they must have been thinking. Not one to let attention affect his actions however, he leaned toward Elsie once more and pressed a quick but hard kiss to her lips, winking in her direction when he pulled back. Then, pleased with the horrified expressions that surrounded them, he turned and left.

* * *

One thing Elsie had learned since becoming a nurse was that long, hectic shifts were guaranteed and thus, exhaustion was a daily expectation. By the time she had finished work, walked home, cooked dinner, cleaned up and gotten herself ready for bed, it was long past midnight and she wanted nothing more than to just get some sleep. However, just as she had settled comfortably beneath the sheets, loud banging on her door made it clear that sleep was not an option just yet. Of course, there was only one person bold enough to be rattling her door at such a ridiculous time of the morning and after a few moments, when he called her name and demanded she open the door, her suspicions were confirmed: Thomas Shelby. From the way he slurred over some of his words as he continued to shout to her from the street, she could tell he was drunk and that he had absolutely no intention of leaving any time soon. And so, releasing a heavy sigh in an attempt to quell her annoyance at having to get back out of bed, she headed for the door, unlocking it quickly and yanking it open as forcefully as her tired muscles would allow. Although as soon as the door was open there was barely enough time to be angry before his hands were on her waist, pushing her a little further into the house. Kicking the door closed behind him as he entered, he spun her abruptly and Elsie gasped as he slammed her body against the wood of the door. In an instant, Tommy was pressed against her and his lips were on her's in a kiss that tasted like desire and whisky. Surprise kept her frozen for a moment or two before she was able to respond, reaching up to grab hold of his overcoat and moving onto her tip toes in order to get closer to him. It seemed he appreciated her attempts as he trailed his hands down to grasp at her thighs, hoisting her upwards and pulling her legs around his waist before moving one hand to tangle in her hair, the other remaining dangerously close to slipping beneath her underwear. That was when her brain seemed to re-engage and she pulled back from him slightly.

"Hi." she giggled softly.

"Hi." he mimicked as he tugged on her hair, forcing her to tip her head back.

"This is a surprise." she smiled, meeting his eyes.

"Well, I wanted to see you." he explained, his tone suggestive.

Before she had the chance to say anything else, Tommy ducked his head to press his lips against the curve of her jaw and Elsie couldn't suppress the quiet moan that left her. Clearly encouraged by this, he began trailing kisses down her neck and across her collarbone. Releasing her grip on his coat, she knocked off his flat cap and trailed her fingers through his hair whilst pushing her hips against him simultaneously, earning a rather primal growl from him.

"You wanted to fuck." she giggled again, finding herself a little breathless now.

"That too." he agreed, tugging at the fabric of her nightgown with his teeth.

Moving both hands to grip her hips, he held her firmly against the door and pulled back from her. As their eyes met, she suddenly understood why so many women fell for him. Crystal blue so incredibly clear and piercing she could almost believe they contained his very soul, complemented beautifully by high, sharp cheekbones - he was rather beautiful and that was all before he'd even had speak but when he did, oh God, when he did speak he had a voice so deep and rough and captivating. There was not a single part of Tommy Shelby that didn't demand attention or command respect and Elsie couldn't help but oblige.

"You're staring at me." he spoke, breaking her out of her silent fascination.

"Are you aware of how gorgeous you are?" she asked before she could stop herself.

In response to her question, he simply rolled his eyes and turned his face away but she knew it was nothing more than an attempt to hide the smile that had broken his typically stony expression. It was quite a sight, even from the side, to see an emotion take hold of his entire expression as opposed to being confined to his eyes.

"Are you?" he asked as he turned back to meet her eyes, his smile still in place.

"Am I what?" she asked in return despite knowing exactly what he meant.

"Aware of how gorgeous you are." he answered anyway, making it a statement.

A wide smile broke out across her lips at his words and Elsie knew she would never get tired of hearing Tommy Shelby compliment her. Slinging both arms around his shoulders, she pulled him back in, their lips clashing as he moved to meet her half way, his grip tightening on her hips. Abruptly, he pulled her away from the door and she tightened her legs around his waist.

"What are you doing?" she asked, biting down lightly on his lower lip.

No answer came from him as he turned, moving his hands to her arse as he did, carrying her down the hall. Of course, she knew exactly what he was doing and so, when he dropped her onto the bed, Elsie was not at all surprised but rather, excited in anticipation of what she knew was coming. Watching him as he straightened to remove his overcoat and his suit jacket, she reached for him, grabbing him by his braces. As quickly as he could, Tommy unbuttoned the top button on his shirt before she pulled him back down between her legs.

* * *

Regret was not an emotion that Tommy Shelby was particularly familiar with. Of course, there occurred the odd occasion upon which he would find himself questioning his motives or his actions but those doubts very rarely culminated in full blown regret. It was a heavy feeling that weighed down on his chest and made it hard to breathe. Perhaps worse than the feeling of regret itself was the fact he knew the only way to rid himself of it was to admit to its cause. Things with Elsie had progressed far quicker than he had first imagined they might. Right from that moment in which her voice had pulled him from a dark unconscious, he had been drawn to her and no matter how hard he might try, he simply couldn't explain the attraction. When she'd woken him from his nightmares that first night in the hospital, the attraction had been instant and it had only grown with every interaction since: her eagerness to avoid him and her anger at being unable to do so; holding her so close that night she'd pulled a gun on him; seeing her in the comfort of her own home; dancing with her at the Garrison; the sight of her in his jacket as he walked her home; flirting with her and fucking her- no, fucking was too crude a description. Although he wasn't sure how else to describe it, he knew that it was something more than just fucking. How then, could it be that he had made the mistake of fucking someone else? Had he not told her that she was different? That she meant more to him than all those other women since Grace's departure. Fuck, it was true - he meant every word of it! Unfortunately, that's exactly why he fucked May Carleton. Not only was she more than willing, she offered an escape from the fear that Tommy had quickly realised was growing alongside his feelings for Elsie. It was that fear that he wasn't good enough for her that had clouded his judgement and now his only option was to confess all to her.

Black had never been a more interesting colour, he thought, as he stood on her doorstep. It was early morning, a little before seven but he couldn't bear the thought of lying to her any longer than he already had. With that in mind, he cleared his throat and knocked hard on her door. It took only a few seconds for her to answer.

"You're up early."

Ignoring her comment, he let his eyes rake over her as he attempted to formulate a plan. It seemed she was getting ready for work as she was dressed in her usual uniform, although she had yet to pin up her hair. There was a soft smile held on her lips that only added to the weight pressing down on his chest. Safe to say, her smile wasn't likely to last much longer.

"We need to talk." he announced, keeping his tone calm.

Pushing past her, Tommy wandered towards her bedroom rather than her living room, knowing full well that the latter contained far too many objects which could be thrown at his head if she reacted badly. From down the hall, he heard the harsh click of the door as it closed followed by her footsteps, merely glancing up as she entered the room. Confusion was written across her face and there was worry in her eyes. It did not escape his attention that she kept her distance from him.

"Right," he began, finally turning to face her, "I need you to understand why I'm telling you this. When I came to the hospital the other day and I told you that you were different, I meant it, Elsie, I promise you that," a pause as he gestured towards her, "but it's been a very long time since I've felt this way about a woman. You said you'd heard stories about the other women I fucked, I need you to understand that those women mean nothing to me but you do, alright? And if I'm honest, that scared me because I'd become very accustomed to feeling numb but you," he paused again in an attempt to gather his thoughts, "You make me feel something that I-"

"What was her name?"

Astounded by her interruption, Tommy fell silent. For the first time, he noticed the shine of unshed tears in her eyes and, just as he had suspected, she was no longer smiling. Instead, her arms were wrapped tightly around her waist and her entire body was tense as though she were trying to comfort or protect herself. Of course she knew what he was going to say - she had said herself that she had, had no real expectations of him. As obvious as it was that she was trying to hide the fact she was hurt, it was much more obvious that she had been expecting his confession. That hurt him.

"Does it matter?" he asked.

"It matters to me, yes." she answered, her voice barely above a whisper.

"May." he relented.

Rather than respond to him, Elsie simply nodded and turned her face away. Time seemed to drag past and what was probably only a minute or two felt like hours in the silence. Tommy watched as she raised a hand and swiped gently beneath her eyes with her index finger, preventing the fall of tears before folding her arms once more. When she turned back to face him, there was a disturbingly accepting smile held on her lips.

"I understand. I am not so naive as to have assumed I was the only girl you've been fucking, Mr. Shelby - I know I'm nothing special, not to you. I expected as much."

Never before had he felt so wounded by mere words. All his life he had been insulted, mostly with regard to his gypsy heritage. People assumed that he was worthless, that he would never amount to anything in life and every day he fought against those expectations. Determination had taught him to defy expectations and that was what he'd wanted to do for her - to prove that he was more than her expectation of him. To hear her so callously declare that he had failed hurt him more than he cared to admit.

"Have you heard a word I've said?" he asked incredulously.

"I have but I like to think that actions are of far greater importance than words." she stated plainly.

"I came here to apologise-" he began but she interrupted.

"No, you came to plead your case. Now, I have to get ready for work."

At that, she stepped aside and he knew that she was asking him to leave. For a moment, he could only stare at her. This was not what he'd expected, screaming and shouting he had expected but not this. Not silence. It was only then that he realised her feelings toward him might have been equally as advanced as his were for her. Arguing would do him no good, he didn't want to upset her further. Instead, he crossed the room to stand before her. With a sigh, he traced his fingertips across her cheek to brush her hair behind her ear but she kept her eyes focused on the ground.

"I am sorry, Elsie." he whispered.

"I know, Tommy." came her quiet response.

Flicking her dusty grey eyes up to meet his gaze, he could see the familiar shine of fresh tears. Leaning forward, he attempted to press his lips to her's in a light kiss but she turned her face away and so he released a heavy breath, closed his eyes and pressed his kiss to her temple instead. When he pulled back he noticed her own eyes were closed and he took that as his cue to leave.

* * *

Unlike most days at work, the hours had passed by quickly which, on any other day, Elsie would have been thankful for but this was not just any other day. Finishing early and getting home at a reasonable time had only given her more time to think about the events of the morning. In truth, she had been surprised by Tommy's confession as, while she had initially assumed he thought of her as nothing more than a quick fuck, she had believed him when he'd told her she was different. In fact, she was a little ashamed to admit that she still believed him. Yes, she was hurt by the fact he'd slept with some other woman but in all honesty, she really did understand his fear of their growing relationship. They had both been hurt in the past and although Anthony's death was something she would never truly recover from, she imagined it was much more painful to know that your love made the conscious choice to leave you. For that reason, she could understand his hesitation and although it didn't fully excuse his actions, it did put them into perspective. Therefore, she had decided to forgive him but not without making it clear that she intended to be the only woman he would be fucking in future.

Elsie had always been a fan of lingerie, particularly lace. If she were going to make her intentions clear to a man like Thomas Shelby, she intended to do so in style. The bra was black lace, the kind with no tie and so it hugged her frame tightly, accentuating her breasts. The underskirt was designed with both lace and chiffon, also black with the hem just barely reaching her fingertips if she stood with her arms by her sides. Of course, she wore her hair in the long, loose waves he loved so much. A black overcoat which rested just above her knees and a pair of black kitten heels had sufficed in getting her across town - respectable enough but certain to suggest she wasn't wearing much beneath if he paid enough attention. Upon entering his office, Elsie smiled at the sight of him leaning back in his chair, eyes focused on the ceiling with a cigarette between his lips and whisky in his glass. Waiting patiently, standing on the other side of his desk, she watched as he straightened up to meet her gaze. Surprise was evident in the icy blue but he otherwise hid it well, instead clearing his throat and snubbing out his cigarette.

"Well, this is a surprise." he commented, although his tone suggested he found it to be a pleasant surprise.

"I've had a lot of time to think about what you said this morning," she stated, walking slowly toward him, "and I've decided to forgive you."

"How kind of you." he responded absently, his eyes trailing up and down her body curiously as she rounded his desk.

"Subject to certain conditions." she added.

Tommy simply remained silent which Elsie assumed was consent to continue. Waiting until she was stood beside him, she pushed herself up to sit on his desk, crossing her legs as she did so. Briefly, his eyes flicked down over her legs and she smirked when his eyes developed a knowing glint. Well, at least he was quick to catch on.

"What are you wearing?" he asked, kinking an eyebrow as he pushed himself out from beneath his desk.

"First of all, I want to know if you really meant what you said?" she asked, keeping her tone light.

"I did." he answered, reaching for the hem of her overcoat.

"Ah-ah!" she scolded, swatting his hand away as he attempted to peek beneath. "If you want to know what's underneath, you have to make me promise." she teased, sliding to the edge of the desk and onto her feet before moving to stand in front of him.

"What's that?" he asked, tilting his head as he eyed her.

"You have to promise- " she began, but paused, placing her hands on either side of his chair, she leaned forward, brushing her lips against the curve of his jaw. "You have to promise I'll be the only woman you're fucking from now on." she finished, pulling back.

As their eyes met, Elsie could see that the icy blue had darkened and that desire had clearly taken control. Leaning into him again, she bit down gently on his lower lip and in an instant, she felt the hard wood of his desk collide with the small of her back. Tommy had one hand wrapped in her hair and the other on her hip, his body pressed against her's in a way that prevented her from moving and she couldn't help but giggle triumphantly.

"It's not nice to tease." he whispered against her lips.

"Promise me." she whispered in response, letting her hands glide upward across his chest.

"Take off the jacket." he retaliated, releasing his grip on her.

Taking a step back, he began to tug at the buttons of her overcoat. Giggling still, Elsie allowed him to completely unbutton the garment but as soon as he moved to remove it from her body, she pushed against his chest, forcing him back.

"Say it." she demanded.

"I promise." he spoke, his tone seductively dark.

Stepping back toward her, Tommy ducked his head and she couldn't bite back the moan he drew from her as he pressed his lips to her neck. Giving up all control to him, she allowed the overcoat to fall to the floor as he finally pushed it off. Immediately, his hands grasped the back of her thighs and his lips trailed down across her chest as he tugged her back into her seat on top of his desk. Once again, he stepped back from her and Elsie bit down on her lower lip as his eyes trailed over her body.

"You're the only woman." he breathed out eventually.

At that, his lips crashed against her's with a desperation she hadn't felt from him before. In response, she wrapped her legs around his hips in an attempt to pull him closer. It seemed he was more than happy to oblige, grinding his hips against her's and eliciting a needy whine from her. With a single swipe, he cleared the contents of the desk behind her and in the same instant, her back hit the cold wood. Their eyes met and Elsie smiled suggestively, trailing her fingertips toward the buttons of his trousers as his eyes raked over her body but Tommy smiled a suggestive smile of his own and she barely had time to react before he was on his knees with his head between her legs.


End file.
